12 December, 2005
I thought a little inapporpriate humor would be appropriate for another ucktastic Monday. The email subject when this was sent to me was "Dating Rituals."
Though not a woman, I will admit and attest to the Irish side.
First date: You get to kiss her good night.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-karat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and you never get head again.
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of
your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a shack along the Rio Grande.
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN?
I can SO TOTALLY say that the Indian and the Mexican descriptions are SO TRUE!!!!!! HAHAHAHA!!
"Embrace Cultural Quirks! Say No To PC Homogenization!" - a bumper sticker I hope never to see (though I've seen worse and more incomprehensible in unbelievably goofy Logan Square).
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