22 November, 2005
Thanksgiving
I told him this morning that I was giddy, bouncing up and down, much happier than early cold mornings should be. He said - mostly joking, I hope - that I was happy to be leaving. That's not true, of course... it can't be. He doesn't, and can't know how I felt two weeks ago when I went home - the warm feeling I had during the car ride, knowing he had been in the passenger seat when I started off from home in the morning. The feeling faded, of course, until I checked my email and saw he had written a warming, adorable line or two.
As the blue line tunneled toward work, I thought to myself after he got off. It's not going home for Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, that's exciting me today. It's rather a realization that the rough edges seem to be wearing away from our relationship, those jagged shards of uncertainty that cause me so much hesitation and grief. It's taken a while, but I think I am starting to get comfortable.
One more thing to be thankful for.
As the blue line tunneled toward work, I thought to myself after he got off. It's not going home for Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday, that's exciting me today. It's rather a realization that the rough edges seem to be wearing away from our relationship, those jagged shards of uncertainty that cause me so much hesitation and grief. It's taken a while, but I think I am starting to get comfortable.
One more thing to be thankful for.
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I can't believe I'm writing this sort of shit and not throwing it away. The urge to delete is overpowering.
Oh Luis, you may be beautiful, but you're such a bad influence!
;-)
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Oh Luis, you may be beautiful, but you're such a bad influence!
;-)
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